Posts Tagged ‘Armed Robbery’

Bad Guy Beatdown Roundup

Wednesday, September 20th, 2023

Time for a roundup of criminals who had critical failures in their Victim Selection Process rolls.

  • Out in El Monte, California, a would be thief armed with bear spray and a hammer got a righteous beatdown trying to rob a family jewelry store.

  • In Texas news, a convicted murderer who preyed on the elderly got his ticket to Hell punched by his cellmate, who also happened to be a convicted murderer.

    Convicted North Texas killer Billy Chemirmir, who was suspected in over 20 murders, was killed in a state prison Tuesday morning, officials confirmed to WFAA.

    Chemirmir, 50, was serving life in prison without parole after he was twice found guilty of capital murder by Dallas County juries. He was accused of killing 20 other women in Dallas and Collin counties and still faced charges in those cases.

    The Dallas County District Attorney’s office confirmed they were notified by Texas prison officials that Chemirmir was killed Tuesday morning. State prison officials confirmed that Chemirmir was found dead in his cell early Tuesday and his cellmate, who was serving on a murder charge out of Harris County, was “identified as the assailant.”

    What caused Mr. Chemirmir’s cellmate to extinguish him?

    Dallas County District Attorney John Creuzot told WFAA that Chemirmir was killed after apparently making inappropriate comments sexual in nature towards his cellmate’s children. According to Creuzot, the cellmate allegedly beat Chemirmir, dragged him out of his cell and killed him while other inmates watched. No one intervened and Chemirmir may have been stabbed with a pen, Creuzot said.

    It does indeed sound like the “He needed killin'” defense applies here, though the prison guards have some splain’ to do. (Hat tip: Dwight.)

  • Pro-tip: If you go around breaking down doors and beating people in a Chicago high rise, don’t be surprised if you get shot.

    A resident who fatally shot Abnerd Joseph during a disturbance in their Loop high-rise building was released without being charged following the shooting, according to Chicago police.

    Family of the assistant school principal said Friday they are “left with questions and looking for closure.”

    “We can’t make sense of it,” said his sister Jeanna Joseph, who last spoke to her brother Wednesday, the day before the shooting. “We don’t really know what’s going on. … We have questions and we don’t have answers to those questions.”

    The shooting happened about 7:30 p.m. Thursday on the 48th floor of the building at 60 E. Monroe St. as Abnerd Joseph was “wildly” knocking on residents’ doors, attempting to enter apartments and “yelling incoherently,” according to a police report.

    When the doorman and four tenants went to check, he allegedly struck the doorman several times. A tenant then tried to calm him down and was also hit and fell down, the report said.

    Sounds like he was as high as an SR-71.

    Another tenant warned Joseph that he was armed and told him to stop hitting people. The police report said Joseph “turned and charged” at the tenant, who opened fire, hitting him several times.

    Joseph, 32, was shot in the chest, abdomen, flank, an armpit and a ring finger, according to the report. He was taken to Northwestern Memorial Hospital, where he was pronounced dead at 8:11 p.m., according to the Cook County medical examiner’s office. An autopsy Friday determined he died of multiple gunshot wounds and his death was ruled a homicide, the office said.

    (Hat tip: 357 Magnum.)

  • Remember kids:

    How Not To Commit the Perfect Robbery

    Saturday, February 16th, 2013

    If you want to commit a comically inept but still dangerous robbery, here are a few easy pointers from this Valentine’s Day holdup in Inkster, Michigan:

  • Be sure to try and rob the place in broad daylight.
  • Pick a place that has an obvious security company car parked right in front.
  • Make sure not to conceal your own features, even though there’s a security camera at the door.
  • Pull out your gun and wave it around in a limp-wristed fashion, ensuring you’re more likely to hurt yourself than hit what you’re aiming at when you fire.
  • Have your partner in crime lackadaisically take several seconds to casually pull her own gun out of her purse. No hurry! It’s not like speed is important during a daylight armed robbery.
  • Pick a tax preparation business where the guard has an AR-15 in the next room.
  • Run back out the front door in a panic when you see it.
  • To make sure you’ve understood all these vital pointers, watch the video below. (15 second ad at the beginning, but well worth it.)

    Fox 2 News Headlines

    And liberals: The fact criminals seem to find the AR-15 every bit as scary as you do? That’s not a bug, that’s a feature.