First results: Trump takes Indiana and Kentucky, Clinton takes Vermont.
Trump leading the national vote.
Trump wins West Virginia.
Trump leads in Virginia.
Fox calls Portman for Ohio Senate.
Trump running ahead of Romney’s totals in KY, IN.
Trump ahead by 10+ points in Virginia. 11% in.
Trump ahead in Florida.
Tim Scott wins SC senate.
Trump up 10 points in NC.
Fox calls SC for Trump, even though actual totals have Clinton slightly ahead. (Insert shrug emoji.)
Kentucky Dem Speaker Stumbo going down. Last Dem Speaker in South (if you don’t count Straus).
Trump now up by 11 in VA.
Trump still leading national vote total.
Oklahoma called for Jill Stein.
Ha, just kidding. Trump.
Clinton takes lead in FL. Still too close to call. Clinton also now ahead in NH. Not good.
Trump still up in VA.
Mississippi called for Trump.
Missouri called for Trump
Tennessee called for Trump.
HOLY FUCK! 28 votes separate Trump and Clinton in Florida.
Trump edges ahead in FL. Now up 8,000 votes.
GOP takes KY house.
Fox callas Alabama for Trump. Try to contain your shock.
Todd Young kicks Evan Bayh’s ass in IN Sen.
Rand Paul and Marco Rubio win their Sen races.
NBC calls Republican maintaining control of House.
Trump lead in Florida keeps widening. 91% of votes in.
Trump up a full point in Florida.
Hurd winning in TX CD23.
Nate Silver says Senate shifts right. Interesting.
Trump winning Texas by less than I expected.
Trump behind in Ohio. 1/3rd of votes in.
Could never imagine Trump winning Florida but losing Ohio, but that’s how it’s trending right now.
Crist picks up FL House seat, alas.
Trump still winning Florida and the popular vote.
Fox: “Ohio. A difference of do the math.”
Trump still leading Virginia.
Blake Farenthold (R) crushes it.
Trump takes lead in Ohio,
Texas called for Trump. Much narrower than I expected.
Trump still up in Florida.
Trump widens lead in Ohio, takes lead in NC.
McCain wins in AZ Sen, promises more pancakes, Matlock.
FL: 93% in, trump lead widens.
Debbie Whatshername Schultz on Fox now. Mute. God it was good for the GOP to have her running the DNC.
Trump still up in Virginia with 72% of the vote in. Maybe all the felons voted for Trump!
Trump still leads VA.
Trump WAY up over Clinton in WI, but only 3% of the vote in.
GOP guy on Fox: “Trump will win Ohio.”
Local returns. Restroom break.
Zimmerman losing ATCC? A Hillary vote surge causality?
Trump still up in FL with 94% in.
Trump up in VA and NC.
Trump winning MN, but only 2% in.
Hillary under 80% in Philadelphia?
Trump way up in Ohio.
NM called for Clinton.
Tappert: “This may put the polling industry out of business.”
NYT’s COHN: “Trump favored to win for first time.”
Trump super narrow lead in VA.
Slight Clinton lead in VA.
Stupid Austin passes stupid transportation bond.
Foxes projects Clinton to win VA.
Women on PBS definitely gazing into an abyss.
PBS sounds like a wake. “No one from the Clinton campaign wants to talk to us.”
Trump up BIG in Michigan. Michael Moore may turn out to be a prophet.
Trump still up in NH.
RCP says Trump won Ohio.
Seeing projections Clinton wins VA.
Hearing Manchin (D-WV) may flip to Republican next year. His state already has.
If Trump wins electoral vote and Clinton wins popular vote, liberal heads will never stop exploding.
Trump up in both MI and WI.
NYT chances of Trump winning up to 91%.
Fox: Trump doubles Romney’s black vote total. Me: Not hard.
Sadly, Daryl Glenn loses in Colorado.
Fox calls NC for Trump.
PBS calls FL for Trump.
“Clinton staffers leaving her victory party.” Well, there’s all that shredding to do…
NYT’s: Trump’s chances of winning < 95%
Utah called for Trump. take that, Egg McMuffin!
Clinton’s campaign has gone dark. There are all those servers to destroy.
TRUMP WINS WISCONSIN! The fat lady has started warming up…
TRUMP WINS IOWA.
Trump has won the Presidency.
Trump on verge of winning NH. That’s the last nail in the coffin.
Trump only 7,000 votes behind in Penn.
Too busy jaw-dropping and celebrating to blog.
“Clinton campaign staff in tears.”
“It’s time to start talking about Trump Democrats.” After tonight, I don’t think they’re Democrats any more.
Now both hookers and weed are legal in NV.
Toomey pulls it out in PA Sen.
AP called PA for Trump. Still waiting for Fox.
NYT calls Pennsylvania for Trump. Finally, Brunhilda can give her aria.
AP calls race for Trump.
Shep Smith is trying to cast a sleep spell upon us.
FINALLY! Fox calls Pennsylvania (and the Presidency) for Trump.
Clinton called to concede the race.
Trump making a very gracious victory speech, calling for the country to come together.
Thanked Reince Prebius, as well he should. RNC did a fantastic job.
Congratulations to Donald Trump for being elected the 45th President of the United States of America.