Florida Man Outdoes Himself

Florida Man has really outdone himself this time:

Authorities in Florida have arrested a man accused of throwing a live alligator through a restaurant’s drive-through window.

Investigators identified Joshua James, of Jupiter, Fla., as the man who tossed the 3 1/2-foot reptile into a Wendy’s last fall, according to a Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission incident report.

He faces three charges related to the incident: Aggravated assault with a deadly weapon; unlawful sale, possession or transporting of an alligator; and petty theft.

Pro tip: Try not to commit felonies for laughs. Though I’m sure the story will get a chuckle from his future cellmate.

See you later, alligator…

About Lawrence Person

Lawrence Person is a political commentator and science fiction writer living in Austin, Texas. I'm still between jobs. Feel free to hit the tip jar if you're so inclined.
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2 Responses to Florida Man Outdoes Himself

  1. Dwight Brown says:

    “Aggravated assault with a deadly weapon; unlawful sale, possession or transporting of an alligator; and petty theft. ”

    Not animal cruelty?

    And perhaps I missed it in the article, but I don’t see where the petty theft comes in. Unless the authorities are claiming he stole the alligator…

  2. Lawrence Person says:

    My suspicion is that he drove off with the drink. Since alligators cannot be exchanged for goods and services (at least in this case), hence the petty theft…

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