In a devastating blow to political satirists everywhere, creepy porn lawyer Michael Avenatti has stopped pretending he’s going to run for President:
Please see my statement below regarding 2020. pic.twitter.com/ztCfZUY6hA
— Michael Avenatti (@MichaelAvenatti) December 4, 2018
Twitter reaction was swift:
"Family" is a weird way to say "pending domestic violence charges"
— Neoliberal 🌐 (@ne0liberal) December 4, 2018
after consultation with my family and at their request, i have decided not to travel back in time to assassinate hitler or attempt to save the titanic. i do not make this decision lightly – i make it out of respect for my family. but for their concerns, i would do it
— theia🌺 (@queenseelies) December 5, 2018
This is bullshit Michael. The country needs you. You fight!
— Stephen Miller (@redsteeze) December 4, 2018
After consulting with my friends and family, I have decided not to ask Rihanna out for a date. I do not make this decision lightly. But for their concerns, I would totally do it, and she would totally say yes.
I remain hopeful Rihanna will find the right partner.
— Tuxedo Mask (@TheLoveBel0w) December 4, 2018
Michael Avenatti announces he will not run in 2020. That’s like Matt Lauer announcing he will not enter the ‘Husband of the Year’ contest.
— MARK SIMONE (@MarkSimoneNY) December 4, 2018
United States attorney Michael Avenatti withdraws from presidential race, citing his lifelong dream of attending clown college.
— DPRK News Service (@DPRK_News) December 4, 2018
Avenatti was polling at 1 percent. His handling of Julie Swetnick was a disaster. He was recently charged with domestic violence. He doesn't have Trump's instincts and Democrats don't have an appetite for a Trump-like candidate. He would have lost badly and embarrassed himself.
— Nate Silver (@NateSilver538) December 4, 2018
Well, yeah. That’s why we were urging him to run.
This leaves a core of hardcore Trump Derangement Syndrome sufferers up for grabs from another delusional candidate.
