Greetings, refugees from the formerly great state of California! I hope you’re enjoying your new home in Real America!
Sometimes it can be hard to figure out how to act in new surroundings, so here’s are a few tips from Some Random Guy On Twitter:
Things Californians looking to emigrate to one of the Free States should know :
1. Everyone hates you, probably for good reason.
2. If you thought you’re “right wing” in CA, you’re probably centrist elsewhere.
3. Don’t try to change things in your new state.
— Human Bean Juice (@Jack0Spades) March 11, 2018
4. No, your new neighbors aren’t racists or Nazis. This is just how things are where people don’t lie to themselves all the time.
5. “Bless your heart” means you just did something very stupid. Try to not do it again.
6. Hold doors open for other people, especially women.
— Human Bean Juice (@Jack0Spades) March 11, 2018
7. Men pump gas. Don’t get caught making your wife do it.
— Human Bean Juice (@Jack0Spades) March 11, 2018
8. You will occasionally see someone with a gun. Don’t panic. This is normal with free people.
— Human Bean Juice (@Jack0Spades) March 11, 2018
(Filed under: Lazy blogging.)
On #2: If they were “right wing” in Kali, they’re probably a leftist in a free state.