Posts Tagged ‘reality TV’

Celebrity Reality TV Star Porn Star Files For Austin Mayor City Council

Sunday, January 18th, 2026

So, I guess this counts as local political news. Of a sort.

Porn star Farrah Abraham—

Sorry, Not The Bee, I’ve got to stop you right there. Farrah Abraham first became “famous” as a reality TV “star” on the MTV show 16 and Pregnant, so she was already a trainwreck when first introduced to the public. Nor should reality TV participants be considered “stars” just because a few of them (*cough*kardashians*cough*) managed to breach the containment field to infect public consciousness. Being in the freakshow* doesn’t make you famous.

After that reality TV baptism (and I really don’t want to think about what fluids she’s been baptized in), Abraham went on to appear in a lot more reality TV: Teen Mom, Couples Therapy, Teen Mom OG, Celebrity Big Brother, Ex on the Beach. It’s a veritable buffet of Bad Life Choices on Parade.

And as for Celebrity Big Brother, that includes certain values of “celebrity” that includes no actual celebrities. The most famous celebrity in that show (indeed the only name I would have recognized before this election story popped up) is (to use the classic Fark description) “badly tattooed MySpace Asian dwarf Tila Tequila.” Ms. Tequila may have the same tenuous grasp on reality as Kanye West, but was, once upon a time was, it must be admitted, pretty hot.

No really, I have a reason for including this. It’s all downhill from here, folks…

Like Abraham, Ms. Tequila did porn as well. So presumably Ms. Abraham is also ho—

Agggh! Do not want! She’s like a checklist of plastic surgery disasters**!

Now, as for the claim she’s a “porn star,” both her Internet Adult Film Database (yes, there is such a thing) and Wikipedia entries mention two porn films: Farrah Superstar: Backdoor Teen Mom and Farrah 2: Backdoor and More, both of which I’m sure are unsung cinematic masterpieces that just barely missed the Oscar shortlists for their respective years. But my point here is that two films do not a “porn star” make. We, as a society, must have standards, and we cannot debase them by elevating Ms. Abraham to stand with the likes of Nina Hartley, Seka, Jenna Jameson, and Savannah.

Standards, people! Standards!

I’m now 400 words into this post and only four of thus far have been plucked from the political story at hand.

Let us continue.

Porn star Farrah Abraham has announced she’s running for mayor of Austin, Texas, in 2026. Because, if we’re honest, that’s exactly the type of mayor Austin deserves.

The only problem? There’s no election in Austin this year.

TMZ: There’s some questions about why she’s declared right now … Farrah Abraham welcome back to TMZ … Sometimes people say the less you know, the more you like. You are now giving them many years to make a decision because the election’s not until 2028. Why do early?

Abraham: Oh, for some reason, the mayor election is 2026. I don’t know, that’s just what the office told me as well … I’m just going to be running for mayor which is 2026 …

TMZ: Farrah, we just got this in our ear, the election is in 2028 … I think you may have jumped the gun here.

This does not speak to close attention to detail.

Abraham has refiled the paperwork to run for City Council District 5, currently held by lefty Democrat Ryan Alter instead.

Also this: “Her website currently promotes her as a life coach, a standup comedian and an OnlyFans model.” I think most of you will have a row filled on your Bad Lifestyle Choice Bingo cards by now.

Speaking of that website, it can be found here. Since I think I’ve already shotgunned all the barrel trout as it is, I will merely note that much of its badly-designed-in-too-small-a-font verbiage seems dedicated to: A.) Kvetching at great length about how her paperwork screw-ups Weren’t Her Fault, and B.) Proposing a lot of tax and regulation subsidies and carve-outs for people exactly like Farrah Abraham (mothers and people who work off 1099s rather than W-2s). What all those proposals seem to have in common is that all are implemented at the federal level and none can be enacted by the Austin City Council.

Farrah Abraham is an unserious candidate for an unserious city.

*This is not to cast aspersions on real freaks, who, as Tod Browning has taught us, are just regular folk trying to play the cards they’ve been dealt as best they can.
**Not as good as Fresh Fruit For Rotting Vegetables.

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Posted in Austin, Elections | 2 Comments »

Wilco Less-Than-LivePD

Wednesday, August 21st, 2019

Since I don’t have cable, I was unaware that reality TV show LivePD had a contract with Williamson County to be one of the departments featured. (I’ve heard LivePD described as “NFL Red Zone TV for Cops.”) Now comes word that the Williamson County Commissioner’s Court just voted unanimously to terminate the LivePD contract, saying “it did not accurately portray life in the county.”

I imagine that having a complaint filed because Patrol Division Cmdr. Steve Deaton asked underlings to have sex with one of the shows producers might have had something to do with it. (I suppose that this might have just been an attempt at cop humor that fell flat.)

On the one hand, yeah, he shouldn’t have done that. On the other hand, slamming Deaton for personal Facebook posts that mock “The Elf on The Shelf” is a lot closer to PC run amuck, like saying this:

is “an Elf dismembering a black football player at the knees with a chainsaw.” As opposed to an action figure attacking a plastic football player.

You know what law enforcement conduct really infuriates me? Murdering innocent people based on false information from fake informants. Non-PC Facebook posts involving plastic figurines don’t make the list.

And the fact that the original complaint came from those dishonest radicals at the Southern Poverty Law Center makes me even more inclined to cut Deaton some slack, and believe that Williamson County Sheriff Robert Chody made the right decision in not taking further action.

(Hat tip: Dwight.)

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Posted in Austin, Texas | No Comments »

Steven Seagal: Pistolero?

Tuesday, March 16th, 2010

You may have noticed the (relatively) new show on A&E (A&E?) called Steven Seagal Lawman, which features his real-life work with the Jefferson Parish Sheriff’s Office in Louisiana.


In Full-Bore Squinty Mode

Seagal is an easy person to dislike. As an actor, he’s a fine martial artist, and as a movie martial artist, he’s not 1/10th as engaging as Jackie Chan or Chuck Norris. Plus there was that scathing article in Spy magazine back in the 1990s that basically accused him of being an asshole phony who hung out with mafia figures. And don’t get me started on his music career.

So it’s easy view his job as a part-time police officer as some sort of publicity stunt. On the other hand, Seagal has evidently been doing this for 20 years, which is an absurdly long time to do something just as a publicity stunt, especially since Seagal was a big enough star in the late 80s and early 90s that he probably could have spent the time snorting blow off the backs of hookers instead. So more power to him.

Since Dwight over at Whipped Cream Difficulties has some sort of ironic attachment to Mr. Seagal (it was his fault I ended up watching Urban Justice, and lo it did stink unto the heavens), he insisted that we watch the premier episode of Steven Seagal Lawman, which is basically Cops except duller. But what made me bring it up for the purpose of this blog was the part during the show where Seagal offers some firearms training to a fellow officer, during which Seagal seemed to shoot some nice tight groups.


Dwight made me watch it. Learn from my misfortune.

Since I know noted firearms instructor Karl Rehn (who you may remember from his piece on the Ft. Hood shooter), I thought I would solicit his impressions on Mr. Seagal’s training technique.

Here are Karl’s comments:

Observations:

Seagal appears to be a good shot and does seem to understand the fundamentals.
The grip he uses is “state of the art” circa 1975 – not a bad grip but not as good as what 99% of the schools teach now.
The more upper body and grip strength you have the less technique matters when it comes to grip and stance.

Grip’s not as important as trigger manipulation and that’s basically what he was telling his student, and that’s what they were working on during the session.

You can always teach an accurate shooter to go faster; it’s harder to teach a fast, sloppy shooter to shoot accurately.

Minus a few points for the student not wearing eye protection when shooting – particularly since they were shooting steel plates for some of the drills. You never know with these TV things whether the student chose to wear his sunglasses on his hat instead of on his eyes because the producer told him to, or because he was having trouble seeing the sights through the dark glasses and they didn’t have any clear glasses with them, or nobody thought about it because there are still a lot of folks out there that don’t treat eye protection as mandatory when shooting.

So, in summary: Seagal’s firearms advice may not be state-of-the-art, but you could do worse.

FWIW, here’s another view of Seagal’s pistol prowess, this one from a first-hand perspective.

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Posted in Guns, Media Watch | 4 Comments »